We’ve all experienced it at some time in our life. Feeling like we’re not good enough, like we’ll be found out or like we’re out of our depth.
Damn you imposter syndrome. She sure can hit hard, especially for us women. It’s so common that I included a question in my Cards for Uniqueness pack asking
“When have you ever felt or acted like an imposter?”
I find it fascinating to hear people’s responses to the question, particularly if they draw the card during our podcast interview. No matter what their background or story they can always remember a moment when they felt it most poignantly.
The truth is it can happen to anyone at any time regardless of our experience, status, position or title. It can happen professionally and even socially. You know the feeling - that internal knot, that questioning mind, it undermines our competence, capability and confidence. And once it’s started it can be a slippery slope to go down.
So we want to identify her, call her out and stop her in her tracks when she tries to take a grip. Here are 3 ways to STOP imposter syndrome in her tracks and be more UP Yourself:
“I’m not doing it unless I can do it perfectly.”
Stop being a perfectionist princess, she’s one of impostor syndromes best friends. This thinking is highly damaging to your self-esteem aka being UP Yourself. I know what you’re thinking, but isn’t it important to do a good job? Of course it is but setting excessively high goals and standards for yourself will most certainly leave you feeling inadequate and like an imposter when you fail to reach the goal. You set yourself up for failure and then you get to beat yourself up for not measuring up!
Tip: Stop trying to control everything princess. When you miss your ridiculous self-imposed mark on something, do not you accuse yourself of “not being cut out” for you’re the task. No-one can be perfect and do perfect work must be 100 per cent of the time.
If you find yourself constantly believing you could’ve done even better then start owning and celebrating your achievements and taking your mistakes in your stride, viewing them as a natural part of the process. Truth is, there will never be the “perfect time” and your work will never be a perfect 10. The sooner you accept that and be more UPtimistic, the better off you’ll be.
“I was just lucky.”
So you think you’ve got lady luck on your side huh? All the time? Seriously.
Be more up yourself woman. You’ve worked hard to get where you are right? If you keep putting down your successes and achievements to luck, your imposter just might start feeding you BS like you’ll be found out and you won’t be able to continue your success. Luck is when opportunity and preparation meet and I’m guessing you’ve been doing a lot of preparation which takes competence and persistence. Sure lady luck can shine on us every once in a while but you’ve got to remember and recognise all that you’ve done to contribute to your own success. Bottoms Up!
“Oh it was nothing really.”
Imposter syndrome sucks when it stops you from seeing yourself your own brilliance. Especially here in Australia where tall poppy syndrome is rife people are so afraid of appearing up themselves that they are more likely to put themselves down and reduce their efforts to nothing. Problem is good old imposter gets strong every time you do this. It strengthens your neural pathways and her power over you. If you constantly hear yourself saying, “Oh, it was nothing. I’m sure anyone could have done it.” Or “It was no big deal, really.” Then you know you’re falling for the disease of tall poppy. Time to be more UP Yourself - focus on doing your absolute best and when you do and someone complements you simply say “Why thank you.” Cue loud applause.
Go in and UP!
Isn’t it time you stopped playing small and letting the imposter within you win. You’ve come too far to not start believing in yourself and worry about what your little inner voice is saying. Being more UP Yourself is a decision. Decide to back yourself because you’re worth it.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Heidi Alexandra Joy's mission is to empower people to create more meaningful, joyful lives that bring a deeper connection with themselves, others and our planet. To do this she goes toe to toe, knee to knee with real people in real communities around Australia as she undertakes a "slow travel" experiment living and working from her tiny house.
She is the founder of company culture architect firm UQ Power, co-founder of Human Power and creator of the soon to be launched tiny house journey The Joy Box.